bad day
god realizes heaven is getting crowded. so he tells st. peter to ask how people's days went on the day they died. if they had a bad day, they get into heaven.
st. peter says "yes, lord" and heads back down to the pearly gates.
the first guy comes up and he says, "tell me about the day you died."
the man says, "i knew my wife had been cheating on me. i figured the only time she could do it was during her lunch break, so i went back to my house to catch her in the act. she was getting out of the shower, and i started freaking out 'where is he?! where is he?!' but i couldn't find anybody.
"then i noticed little fingers hanging off the ledge of our 23rd story balcony. i ran outside snd there was a naked man hanging from the balcony! so i stomped on his fingers and he fell 23 floors into the bushes. i noticed he was still moving a bit, so i went to the kitchen, unplugged the fridge, and pushed it over the edge, crushing him.
'in the excitement, i had a heart attack."
st. peter says, "wow. that was a bad day. you may enter heaven. NEXT!"
the next guy approaches and st. peter says "tell me about the day you died."
the man says, "i live on the 24th story of a high rise. i was doing my morning exercise on my b alcony, when i slipped in some water and fell over the ledge, tearing off my workout pants. luckily i caught the balcony of the floor beneath me. but then this crazy guy comes out of the apartment screaming and shouting and stomps on my fingers, sending me plummeting 23 floors into some bushes. but i ahd only broken my legs, so i was still alive! then the crazy bastard pushes a refrigerator on me! and here i am!"
st. peter says, "Wow that was a bad day. you can enter heaven. NEXT!"
he asks the next man, "tell me about the day you died."
the man says, "so i was naked inside of this refrigerator..."
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