THE BLACK RIDER
English is not my native laguage so please, bear with me.
Ok, here goes:
A man walks into a bar. The barkeeper asks "Can I help you?". "Yeah," the man replies "I'll have a whisky, please.".
"Are you sure?" asks the barkeeper.
This confuses the man. "Why do you ask?" the man wants to know.
"Well," the barkeeper replies "it's almost 12 o'clock. THE BLACK RIDER will be here soon."
"So what?" the man asks. "I don't know any black rider. In fact, i've never even heard of the guy! Just pour me my drink!".
"OK, at your own risk then." says the barkeeper and he fills up a glass.
And so the man is standing at the bar, glass in hand,enjoying his drink and watching the other guests.
Suddenly someone yells "Hey everybody, it's almost 12! THE BLACK RIDER will be here soon!" upon wich every person runs out. Even the barkeeper takes off, leaving our startled guy all alone at the bar.
He doesn't know what to think of it but the decides: "F@#k it, I paid for my drink so I might as well finish it!" and he takes another sip.
Then, with a bang, the door swings open and in comes a huge guy wearing black leather pants, a black trenchcoat and a black cowboy hat. He walks over to the bar and stands himself right next to our whiskydrinker.
He looks down upon our guy and with a dark voice he says: "Hey you, I want you to get on your knees, zip my fly open and get my d**k out!"
The whiskydrinker is completely shocked by these words but quickly realizes that there is no escape. Intimidated by the other guys enormous size he goes down on his knees and does as he's been told.
The big guy then says: "Now I want you to take it in your mouth and start blowing me!"
Our poor guy can't believe his ears but fearing for his life he follows orders in total disgust.
After a few moments the dark voice sounds again: "You have to go FASTER!".
And so the whiskydrinker starts going faster. But then again the dark voice sounds:"You have to go FASTER!"
So with the sole intention of just getting it over with, the poor guy starts going as fast as he can.
But of course it's not enough. "you have to go FASTER!" it sounds.
The whiskydrinker, still on his knees, looks up and with his mouth full he says: "But I can't go any faster!"
"But you HAVE to go faster!" the big guy replies.
"But WHY do I have to go faster?" our poor whiskydrinker wants to know. And the big guy replies:
"Because THE BLACK RIDER will be here soon!".