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terryhaddon 02-10-2009 01:51 PM

Re: The best QUOTES thread.
"I grab a dog. I choke him and I kick the s&!t out of him. All day long got my foot up a dog's ass. Just bang, bang, bang up his ass. That's my pleasure"....Mr Jones, from the Movie Friday. (jk...thought u puppy lovers would like that one)

BRANDON BOND 02-10-2009 04:18 PM

Re: The best QUOTES thread.
hahahahaaaaaaa - I forgot all about that!

SugarT 05-02-2009 01:10 AM

Re: The best QUOTES thread.
'Id rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6...'

The UNofficial CCW motto:
"Its better to have IT and not need IT, than to need IT and not have IT!"

and lastly, my favorite>>>>

Drill Sergeant Fricks Rules For A Gunfight

1. Forget about knives, bats and fists. Bring a gun. Preferably, bring at least two guns. Bring all of your friends who have guns. Bring four times the ammunition you think you could ever need.

2. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammunition is cheap - life is expensive. If you shoot inside, buckshot is your friend. A new wall is cheap - funerals are expensive

3. Only hits count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.

4. If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast enough or using cover correctly.

5. Move away from your attacker and go to cover. Distance is your friend. (Bulletproof cover and diagonal or lateral movement are preferred.)

6. If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a semi or full-automatic long gun and a friend with a long gun.

7. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.

8. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and running. Yell "Fire!" Why "Fire"? Cops will come with the Fire Department, sirens often scare off the bad guys, or at least cause then to lose concentration and will.... and who is going to summon help if you yell "Intruder," "Glock" or "Winchester?"

9. Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting standards will be more dependent on "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the gun.

10. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.

11. Stretch the rules. Always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.

12. Have a plan.

13. Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work. "No battle plan ever survives 10 seconds past first contact with an enemy."

14. Use cover or concealment as much as possible, but remember, sheetrock walls and the like stop nothing but your pulse when bullets tear through them.

15. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.

16. Don't drop your guard.

17. Always tactical load and threat scan 360 degrees. Practice reloading one-handed and off-hand shooting. That's how you live if hit in your "good" side.

18. Watch their hands. Hands kill. Smiles, frowns and other facial expressions don't (In God we trust. Everyone else keep your hands where I can see them.)

19. Decide NOW to always be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.

20. The faster you finish the fight, the less shot you will get.

21. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet if necessary, because they may want to kill you.

22. Be courteous to everyone, overly friendly to no one.

23. Your number one option for personal security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.

24. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does not start with anything smaller than "4".

25. Use a gun that works EVERY TIME. "All skill is in vain when an Angel blows the powder from the flintlock of your musket." At a practice session, throw you gun into the mud, then make sure it still works. You can clean it later.

26. Practice shooting in the dark, with someone shouting at you, when out of breath, etc.

27. Regardless of whether justified of not, you will feel sad about killing another human being. It is better to be sad than to be room temperature.

28. The only thing you EVER say afterwards is, "He said he was going to kill me. I believed him. I'm sorry, Officer, but I'm very upset now. I can't say anything more. Please speak with my attorney."

Finally, Drill Sergeant Frick's Rules For Un-armed Combat.

1. Never be unarmed.

BRANDON BOND 05-05-2009 11:31 AM

Re: The best QUOTES thread.
hahahaha the last one is hilarious!

those are dope!

Bufferkiller 05-05-2009 11:51 AM

Re: The best QUOTES thread.
"The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be - and when they're not, we cry." - David Duchovny

“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.” - Albert Einstein

"Women are only good for four things: Cooking, Cleaning, Vaginas, and their sister's vaginas!" - Jon Lajoie

“If God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting” - Jack Handey

"Isn’t it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?" - Douglas Adams

cometcowgirl 05-06-2009 09:24 PM

Re: The best QUOTES thread.

Originally Posted by kmagic813 (Post 38888)
"Tough times don't last...Tough people do."

"The best revenge is to live well."

"Art is anything you can get away with." (Andy Warhol)

I love all of those.

Can anyone tell me if this (" To call one's mother a 'WHORE' is a lesser crime than to call the sacred instrument of tattooing a 'GUN'" - Lyle Tuttle ) is indeed a Lyle Tuttle quote. Just want to make sure.

SJRabbit 05-10-2009 04:12 AM

Re: The best QUOTES thread.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human, f@#king beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian s&!t. Because I am hard you will not like me. But the more you hate me the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on ethnic persons, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy f@#king walrus-looking piece of s&!t! Get the f@#k off of my obstacle! Get the f@#k down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! Or I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-d**kS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Were you born a fat, slimy, scumbag puke piece o' s&!t, Private Pyle, or did you have to work on it?

Oh that's right, Private Pyle, don't make any f@#king effort to get to the top of the f@#king obstacle. If God would have wanted you up there he would have miracled your ass up there by now, wouldn't he?

I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would f@#k a person in the ass and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you.
:laughing8: the best part of the movie

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Does your parents have any children that lived?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, Yes, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Well how about they regret that? You are so ugly you can be a modern art master piece! What's your name fat-body?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, Leonard Lawrence, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Lawrence? Lawrence what of Arabia?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, No, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: That name sounds like royalty are you royalty?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, No, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Do you suck d**ks?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, No, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bulls&!t. I bet you could suck a golfball through a garden hose.
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, No, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I don't like the name Lawrence, only faggots and sailors are called Lawrence. From now on you're Gomer Pyle.
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, Yes, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Do you think I'm cute, Private Pyle? Do you think I'm funny?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, no, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Then wipe that disgusting grin off your face.
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes, sir.
[tries to stop smiling]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Well, any f@#king time, sweetheart!
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, I'm trying, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Pyle I'm gonna give you three seconds; exactly three-f@#king-seconds to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-f@#k you! ONE! TWO! THREE!
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, I can't help it, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bulls&!t! Get on your knees scumbag!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: [Pyle drops down to his knees]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Now choke yourself.
Private Gomer Pyle: [Pyle wraps his own hands around his throat]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Goddamn it, with MY hand, numb-nuts!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: [Pyle reaches for Hartman's hand]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Don't pull my f@#king hand over there! I said choke yourself; now lean forward and choke yourself!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: [choking Pyle] Are you through grinning?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bulls&!t, I can't hear you!
Private Gomer Pyle: [louder] Sir, yes, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bulls&!t, I STILL can't hear you! Sound off like you've got a pair!
Private Gomer Pyle: SIR, YES, SIR!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: That's enough; get on your feet. Private Pyle you had best square your ass away and start s&!tting me Tiffany cufflinks or I will definitely f@#k you up!
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes, sir.

SJRabbit 05-11-2009 02:35 PM

Re: The best QUOTES thread.
Riding a MO ped is like F'n a Fat Chick, it's fun till you freinds find out!

SugarT 05-11-2009 07:28 PM

Re: The best QUOTES thread.

Originally Posted by SJRabbit (Post 42091)
Riding a MO ped is like F'n a Fat Chick, it's fun till you freinds find out!

or someone sees you...

How about this one, one of my dads favorites....

'No matter how many times you roll a TURD in Candy Sprinkles it'll never be a DOUGHNUT'

SJRabbit 05-13-2009 01:53 PM

Re: The best QUOTES thread.
Ah.. yes but i don't care about everyone else as long as my friends don't see my MO ped with the crome spinners, sweet flame paint job j/k but i did see a guy with the moped flame job but no spinners i was disapointed as i digress any way a quote

"Abstract Art - helping talentless artists make 1,000's of dollars on stupid people for hundreds of years"

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